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Abstract Thoughts has been updated with Endings & Beginnings which is a series of thoughts about my life.

October 28, 2008
Endings & Beginnings
After I wrote my rant about being called "responsible" and my kneejerk reaction to it, I realized that, in some cases, the pendulum had fully swung the other way. I stopped volunteering to do things I used to love to do – help set up events in particular. The more I thought about it the more discontented I felt. I like to volunteer to do things for people. It makes me feel good. However, with my knee jerk reaction to feeling like I'm being used, I've removed myself from things I like to do.

To me, this is an obvious problem without an obvious answer. Mental baggage sucks. I thought about it and talked about it with Jeff and, right now, the only way I can think of solving this issue is to start volunteering to do stuff again but in a very limited scope. Even if I want to do more. Maybe it will bring back the joy of it all and unhinge my kneejerk reaction to being asked for help.


It is the end of an era. Yesterday, I finished writing and editing the last two Kendrick stories for The Edge of Propinquity. It has not been officially announced, yet, and probably won't be until December but I will no longer be writing for The Edge of Propinquity webzine. I am shifting my focus to only editing the webzine while I focus on other writing. I've already auditioned and selected a replacement Universe author.

So, I wrote the last two stories for this series that has run for three years. I've already gotten some good feedback from one of my 1st Round Readers ("Very good story. I was even snappy at [my son] because he kept interrupting my reading. Really, I was about to go stuff him a box or something."). It is a bittersweet moment for me. It really is. I'm proud of what I've created with this webzine and I'm proud of the story I've written but it's time for the story to be put to bed for a while. At least a year. I need a break from it.

But, The Edge of Propinquity is still my baby. I still will be editing her each month and snarling at late authors and reading the slushpile. I'm really hoping that, someday, I can take her into hardcopy land. We'll see. You never can tell in this world of publishing.


I noticed something recently. The pantry and freezer are STUFFED with food but my husband and I frequently say, "There's nothing to eat in the house" and go out to eat or go buy something to eat. I suppose this is due to living in the land of plenty but after we did the budget and such, I made a suggestion to him: No buying food from now until the end of November. We eat only what is in the pantry and deep freeze. Jeff agreed. We both have a packrat mentality and it is time to do a little house cleaning.

There are exceptions of course: Perishables (milk, immunity, eggs, fresh veggies) and particular staples (protein shakes, soda, ice cream). But other than that, nothing. So far, so good. Of course, we've just started. We have so much stuff (steak, fish, chicken – yes, Costco is our friend) that we don't feel the limitations yet and we won't for a few weeks.

And now, I just now realized one more issue. I have a guest coming from Nov 2nd until Nov 9th and we'll need to get stuff for her to eat that she likes. For example, she loves cereal and I don't think we have any cereal in the house. That will have to change. At least we have tea and stuff to make tea with.


Recently, I've had some big ego boosts in my writing career as an RPG author/world creator. I sent in an unsolicited proposal to White Wolf and got it accepted. I made a proposal to Rogue Games and got it accepted. I've received my assignment on the upcoming Serenity sourcebook and I'm finishing up a set of commissioned stories for Colonial Gothic that will be featured in their 2nd edition corebook.

It's nice to have that sort of recognition of writing talent. Writing can be a thankless job where you feel like you're spinning your wheels. I'm still hoping to score an RPG novel contract but I suspect I'll need to propose a kick ass storyline or be in the right place at the right time for such a contract to come along.