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Conversations with the Husband

"Comforter trumps blanket." I said, referring where the kittens prefer to sleep.

"Like rock trumps scissors." He said.


"And flaming space cow beats both scissors and rock." *pause" "What beats a flaming space cow?"

"A collection of Game Masters?"


"What trumps them?"

"Food." He said.

"What if one is lactose intolerant?"

"I'd say that really trumps them then."

"Ok. What trumps food?"

"Sex." He is decisive.

"True but children, 'Daddy's little cockblockers' trump sex."

"What trumps children?"


"Nah. They trump everything."

"Baby animals?"

"Yes. Baby animals. What trumps them?"

"A wood chipper." This time, I was decisive.

"That's why I love you. Oh, and a rock trumps the wood chipper."

"We've come full circle."


"Good night, love."

"Night night, darling."

*Yes, we really do have conversations like this. This was last night's.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 26th, 2008 07:09 pm (UTC)
My wife and I had a long, twisted run of those "what do you call an [X] with no arms and no legs doing [Y]" jokes one road trip, and they were getting quite esoteric and brilliant -- I regret to this day not having transcribed them.
Aug. 26th, 2008 08:22 pm (UTC)
What disturbs me most is that this totally makes sense to me and I actually found myself examining the logic, going, "Yeah. Food totally trumps GMs..."
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )