Jennifer (gaaneden) wrote,

Wanted: A Review

This is, in fact, going to be a spoilerific review.

This was a fun movie. It had over-the-top action, James McAvoy and Angelina Jolie. What's not to love?

A lot.

In fact... the more I think about it, the more I hate this movie.

Yes, really.

This movie had so much promise. It has a back story. It has great actors. It has action and a hero's journey. And yet, I fail to care about any of the characters and the whole story comes off as angsty bullshit and shallow tripe. Both Jeff and I left the theater dissatisfied.

In fact, the only character I barely gave 2 shits about was Fox - for the following reasons:

1. Angelina Jolie. Tattooed. Eyeliner for miles. Hot, sexy, sassy.

2. She actually had a background and one that did not involve her being a pussy or a punk.

3. She fucking lived by the Code of the Fraternity. She believed in it so much she was willing to die for it. That says something to me.

As for the rest of them, for one of these "Assassins for Fate" to say "Fuck the code." after being informed that their names had all come up from the loom (probably because they were now killing for a megalomaniacal wanna-be God character who could bend bullets) and they should kill themselves if they wanted to follow the code... WTF? What the hell happened to "we work for fate - kill one to save thousands"? So much for fanatical devotion to duty. I wanted to punch him.

Also, the whole movie was buckets of angst in a whiny, not sympathetic way. It went from angsty to petulant, angry teenager at the end. Then... then came the final monologue where the writer/director (I don't blame the actor. He is doing what he's told.) decides to insult the whole bloody audience?

My "pathetic" life has never, and will never, be like Wesley's life. I have never once known my SO was cheating on me with my best friend and let him get away with it... to the point of buying condoms and energy drinks for him. I have never been in a job that I let the boss bully me like that. Not without fighting back and that boss, I'll have you know, was "invited" to leave the department after a few reported incidences.

Also, what have I done lately? Excuse me? You did not just say that. That closing line of the movie has me so furious that I want to punch someone - the editor, the director, the producer - anyone responsible for it, in the nose. A lot. Are you judging me because I'm not out killing in the name of Fate? Are you judging me because I'm living a normal life? Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!

That is one of the crappiest ways to end a movie - ever. What it looked like Wesley did was to destroy a corrupt version of a once holy order... without trying to bring it back to what it once was. The only hint of a saving grace is that he might have done just that based on the fact that the decoy in his office, at his desk, does not flinch at Sloan's gun in his face. He actually smiles before Sloan gets the much deserved bullet in the head.

No normal person smiles into the business end of a gun unless he knows something the gun holder does not. That tells me that the decoy was working with Wesley. That Wesley might have gone back to the original monastery where the original Fraternity had been founded, and started all over again - doing actually as Fate wanted him to.

Of course, they don't say that. They just end the movie with a petulant monologue that insults everyone watching.

Go them!

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