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Jeff Versus the Wasp

My man is all about doing his manly duty of killing creepy crawlies for me. So, today, when I heard this loud buzzing and looked up to see a HUGE frickin' wasp in my condo! This sucker was two inches long and infinitely more mean.

(Ok. So, I'm allergic to bee venom. My father is deadly allergic at this point. I don't think I'd die but it certainly wouldn't be fun and might (MIGHT) need a run to the hospital.)

Big frickin' wasp. Allergic lass. What's a girl to do? Eeek at her man who is at work a mile away. The wasp is frantic to get out and is bashing its head against the skylight right above my head. There is no way on earth I'm going to be able to continue working and I'm working on some of my Amazon g

[We interrupt this narrative due to the sounds of loud angry buzzing, frightened squeals and a hero dealing with the monster.]

*ahem* Like I was saying, I was actually working on a paying gig and needed to concentrate which wasn't going to happen with an angry wasp over my head. I called Jeff and long story short, he came over to kill the beast...

... which disappeared into the edge of the skylight within 3 minutes of him arriving.

Still, he tried to flush it out but nothing doing. I knew... KNEW... that if he left, a really angry wasp would return and I would be a freak again. So, my honey volunteered to work from my house since all his meetings were cancelled. If nothing else, I knew that would make me feel better.

Now, I thought this would be the end of the story. I would work on my Amazon stuff and he would work on his work stuff. And I would quietly feel dumb because I am terrified of wasps. But, not five minutes later, a familiar but now VERY FRICKIN' ANGRY wasp re-emerged from the wherever it was and was, as Cherie once said, ready to carpe the fuck out of that diam.

Cue me shrieking "I knew it! I knew it! I'm locking myself in the backroom!"
Cue Jeff grabbing the broom and shouting, "Just go, love, go!"
Cue actual sounds of battle and a victory cry on the part of my man!

When I peeked out of the backroom, Jeff flushed the wasp carcass down the toilet and admitted that he broke my broom in the midst of the battle.

I consider that a worthy sacrifice.


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 9th, 2007 10:22 pm (UTC)
Having had occasional wasp invasions myself, I have a suggestion to make.

Next time you're at the grocery store, get some "flying insect" poison spray. It's not pleasant-smelling stuff, but it works very well, enables you to kill the suckers from a (relative) distance, and doesn't allow them to hide in corners.
Nov. 9th, 2007 10:41 pm (UTC)
I was thinking that, but then she'd have to deal with the poison cleanup so as not to poison poor Esme.
Nov. 9th, 2007 10:44 pm (UTC)
True, but if you buy the right brand, it just requires a quick wipe-down of the area with a wet cloth. Do that, and it's perfectly safe. (I have two cats myself.)
Nov. 9th, 2007 11:36 pm (UTC)
Just saw your later comment about compressed air, though. That's a pretty good idea. I'll have to try it next time.
Nov. 9th, 2007 10:30 pm (UTC)
You can also get spray just made of mint oil that kicks booty.

Also, this post made me smile. You are fun. :D
Nov. 9th, 2007 10:34 pm (UTC)
Swords exist in plentiful numbers. Knights in armour to carry them, less so.
Nov. 9th, 2007 10:34 pm (UTC)
3 cheers and a tiger for Jeff!!!
Nov. 9th, 2007 10:38 pm (UTC)
There was never any knight so brave and noble nor dragon so dreadful and fierce as your man and that dratted wasp. He deserves a cookie.
Nov. 9th, 2007 10:43 pm (UTC)
This, is what men are definitely for.

From experience, I can recommend a very house and pet friendly way of killing insect invaders for your future.

A held upside down can of air. Freezes 'em dead.
Nov. 9th, 2007 10:44 pm (UTC)
Well struck Sir Jeff, well struck!
Nov. 9th, 2007 11:32 pm (UTC)
yay mr jeff!

wasps are a pain to kill. every now and then they try a little nest out in my attic crawlspace. you can get them with a towel, and be pretty safe, but it's real work to crush them, as they're so darned thick.

i have a lot of sympathy for people allergic to insect bits and stings. it can be deadly.

check the eaves for nests.

Nov. 10th, 2007 12:22 pm (UTC)
BTW, you may want to talk to an allergist. Allergic to bees does not necessarily equal allergic to wasps. I offer this so that you needn't be afraid of them because being controlled by something smaller than your thumb can really suck.
Nov. 10th, 2007 03:19 pm (UTC)
Hahah, your guy rocks! And I love your telling of the event. :)
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )