Jennifer (gaaneden) wrote,
Jennifer
gaaneden

The Bourne Ultimatum

Dear Director of the Bourne Ultimatum,

Tonight, me and my best guy went out on a date night - movie and dinner. I chose the movie. It was The Bourne Ultimatum. I enjoyed the first two movies and was assured that I would enjoy this third one. I had completely forgotten about the warnings involving your love of the shaky cam until it was far too late.

Imagine if you will, that you are snuggled up against your loved one, watching a very intense conversation between two actors and you suddenly realize that you cannot keep a decent focus on either of the actors' faces because, while they are ten feet tall in a close up, they are constantly moving. Now imagine that you have scarfed down half a tub of oily popcorn that is starting to turn over in your stomach. Then, just to make things interesting while you are snuggled up next to your loved one, add in a bunch of action sequences that have tons of quick edits, dark and light flashing AND that damn shaky cam.

Now, I did not hork up that oily popcorn all over my loved one because I recognized that the action sequences were actually making me seasick and I closed my eyes. Then I averted my face when I realized that the constant flashing of dark and light against my eyelids was still making me sick.

After the movie, which I will have to watch again on a much smaller screen so I can actually watch the action sequences without getting violently ill, I admitted to my SO that I was actually getting motion sick in the theater. He agreed that the shaky cam was extremely annoying.

In the end, he and I decided that whoever introduced the concept of the shaky cam to you ought to be shot while you, sir, should be tarred, feathered and run out of town with that shaky cam shoved up your ass. In the future, please put the damn shaky cam down and go back to the steady cam. I, for one, will appreciate the ability to actually watch the movie you directed on the big screen.

Love and Kisses,
Jennifer and Jeff
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