Jennifer (gaaneden) wrote,


Abstract Thoughts has been updated with A Hint of Venom which is mostly about NorwesCon and Writing.

April 11, 2007
A Hint of Venom
NorwesCon was a pretty damn good convention. I did most of my volunteering for the convention itself on Thursday and Friday. Then, I did volunteering for Templi Sensua on Saturday. Sunday, more convention volunteering and hanging out.

Drama. No convention would be complete without drama and we had it in spades both in the convention and personally. Fortunately, the convention drama was something I only witnessed and was not a part of because I had enough personal drama as is.

I will admit to being unreasonable about my personal drama. I did not want to deal with it there at the convention at all. I felt awful about dragging the drama's boyfriend (whom I like) into it but it was that or cause one hell of a scene - something that would have been unproductive and unbecoming of two people who work for the convention. Thus, for the entirety of the convention, I ignored the person who started all the drama in the first place because this is not the first time they have started drama nor will it be the last time, I'm sure. Thus, they were a stranger to me. It was just better that way.

What now? I don't know. We'll see what she does. I have a rule - never ask me a question you don't want an honest answer to, you will get it.

Money spent. I did really well on the money end of things. I bought two hair sticks, a fan and a picture. The total was less than $30. Most of my money went towards the WorldCon chocolate charity auction where I was practically the only person bidding. It was very sad. The room was small, the program book description was non-existent and it just did not go well. I ended up winning half of the people up there. Two of them were big in the party scene. So, I ended up hanging out with them and jumping the line both Friday and Saturday night at the Biohazard party. Fun but too crowded for my taste. I much preferred Templi Sensua.

Templi Sensua. The Food Orgy. This party was put on by friends of mine. Saturday, I ended up coming to help with the food prep in the afternoon, and then hung out at the party for most of the evening. The theme to the food orgy is that you cannot feed yourself. You may drink your own drink but you must be fed if you wanted to eat. There were other rules like "no means no," IDs at the bar, smoke in the other room, be nice, and don't make us throw you out.

I started out being a semi-hostess when people came in looking lost. I ended up being the door gargoyle when the party became very popular and we had to limit the number of people in the room. That turned out to be a lot of fun. I was kind and firm with people in the hallway. I explained the rules and made people tell me the rules if they said they knew them. I like to think that I provided some stimulating conversation and flirtation for those who waited. There were lots of smiles and if they were laughing at me, so be it. But, I think they were laughing with me. I know I was having fun. I wanted to make sure everyone else was, too.

I definitely want to work Templi Sensua next year. I think we need to start out with a door gargoyle and host/ess. I think we need at least two official feeder people running around in toga like outfits to make sure that everyone gets to eat - especially the shy and socially awkward types. I think some of the food prep should be done earlier if possible, that we need more plates and napkins and that we should consider painter's drop cloths. Yes, food is messy. We should be prepared for this.

"Beautiful." This is a term that is thrown around a lot at con. I'm used to people calling me "pretty" and "beautiful" at convention because it is a convention and these people are fen. This year, it was a little different. This year, there was an edge to it. Not all the time. Just enough for me to notice. It was like they were saying, "You know you're beautiful. I'm sure you've heard this many times before." It was said with just a hint of venom. Unconscious but there. Especially from women. At first, I thought I was just being overly sensitive. But when it happened again and again, I started getting confused.

I know I'm not ugly but I have never considered myself beautiful. Definitely not in the classic sense. As I lose weight, I am becoming more classically attractive. However, I still have enough weight on me to still make me approachable. I'm not really sure how to deal with this new thing that is happening to me. People who don't know me assume I have always been like this. People who do know me aren't always sure how to relate to me anymore because my outside has changed.

How does one go from invisible fat woman to visible approachable attractive woman? How do you modify your perceptions and actions? I don't know. It was never something I ever considered as a possible problem. It is something I am struggling with. I was warned in a couple of my weight loss programs that this would happen but I did not think it would actually happen to me.

Speaking of conventions, BayCon has extended an invitation for me to become one of their guest author panelists and I have accepted. This is mostly in thanks to Jim who poked the programming person and let them know I exist. This whole thing thrills me to pieces. This will be my first convention where I am considered a "Pro." I have no idea how many panels I will be on or which ones they will be but I'm still happy as a clam.

Of course, this means a road trip down to the Bay Area and some extra days tacked on at the end to visit with friends there (sushi with Monte!) and in Sacramento (Heather-Bee!) before heading back up to Seattle. This is something I am really looking forward to.

On the writing front, I am taking a brief breather before I dive into the Draft One edit of "The Old Woman in the White Cadillac" which is currently sitting at 75,100 words. I figure that will be done by the end of next week and will be ready to go out to my 1st round reader group. This group will be very limited. Five people, no more. I've already got two people lined up. One is my mom. One is a friend who pounced me at con and asked me if she could be part of the 1st round group. That leaves three slots open.

OWitWC is definitely not my usual fare. This book is a straight up modern day drama. There is nothing supernatural about it at all. However, it was a story that really needed to be told. The teaser for it is: "The fictional autobiography of a septuagenarian grifter as told through letters to the daughter she never had but claimed nonetheless."

If you think you'd like to be a 1st round reader for this book, please let me know.

Tarot Card for the Day: The Moon

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