Jennifer (gaaneden) wrote,
Jennifer
gaaneden

Updated...

Abstract Thoughts has been updated with Touch - sometimes, the littlest things mean the most.

February 26, 2007
Touch
These days after my vacation and the convention have been very busy. I seem to have missed the Con Crud rampaging through my friends as well as the normal post-Con blues. Thank goodness. I don't like dealing with either one of those things. Mostly, I've been too busy. I had to catch up on all sorts of "end of month" type tasks and deal with extra stuff like calling the tax guy and having my car looked at. All in all, I believe I am now caught up on everything except for loving the cat. Esme is still attached to me. I think she really missed me this time. We may not get into the "I'm mad at you" phase.


It is amazing to me how something so little can really affect a person. Especially something very mundane with nothing behind it. Something happened at DDC that is hard to put into words. But, it has been on my mind ever since. My mind has dubbed it "The Touch."

It just happened. There was no warning. It had neither prelude nor epilogue. It was single event that lasted no more than a second. I had turned to the person on my left and handed them something. I used my right hand. He used his left to accept it. In the transfer of the item, the backs of fingers and my nails brushed against his fingers. That was that.

But it wasn't. I don't know why but that single brief touch was charged with electricity for me. My heart rate sped up, my stomach dropped at least one floor, my breath caught in my throat and I could not do anything but sit there and blush for about five minutes. I was incredibly aroused and confused.

It is really making me think and wonder. This is not a person I am usually attracted to. However, had he wanted me at that moment, he could have had me - no questions, no quibbles, nothing but acquiescence. I wonder why that touch is affecting me like this.

Also, and I almost hate to admit this: I want to feel that feeling again. I want it really bad.


So, it has come. After three and a half months, I'm going to have to dip into the money set aside for my Writing Year. I finished paying off this month's bills and looked at the checkbook and saw that I will not have enough for next month. Yes, I do know, almost to the penny, how much I spend on household bills each month.

This will make me cranky for a little bit. But, I know it shouldn't be. I set aside this money specifically to use during my Writing Year. I am paying myself to write. I should not begrudge myself my salary. But, not only is my boss a slave driver, she is a miserly bitch when she starts getting nervous about money.

At the same time, I can't be too cranky about money. I should have a decent tax return. I have one non-fiction contract lined up. I've just picked up two paying fiction contracts and I have some hefty "deferred revenue" from previous writing coming my way.

Still, it is kind of a pain to have to stop and think with I'm invited out to dinner at nice places and mentally calculate what I have in my "mad money" allowance. I want to go play but now I have to be careful. No random money spending anymore. Not until this year is done or my non-fiction freelancing picks up enough to pay me enough to play.


After months of my friends bugging me to try out Emerald City Chronicles (the vampire faction), I finally did. I came in as an NPC for a special event. I was cautiously optimistic about the whole thing because I trusted my friends' opinions but had had very disappointing dealing with this group (the werewolf faction) in the past.

I was not disappointed in this game. Not at all. I was welcomed in with my retinue both in and out of character. I had a blast and some mighty fine role-playing scenes. I was amused, entertained and challenged. I really think the entourage (Jim, Dan, Brad, Rory, Cherie) I had with me really added to the impression of "visiting VIP - do not fuck with" feeling I was going for with this cannon character.

I've started the creation of a PC character that will, hopefully, start on 10th of March. I've just got to find time to write her up well and get her (minor) wonkiness approved by the STs. Hopefully, all will be approved. I'm really looking forward to getting my "game on" with the EC crowd. It reminds me a bit of the Palo Alto games. Plus, I'll get to RP with friends from Masquerade.


Tarot Card for the Day: The Tower
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