Jennifer (gaaneden) wrote,
Jennifer
gaaneden

Updated...

Abstract Thoughts has been updated with A Confluence of Suck - which means, yeah, things are getting to be stressful. But, not all is bad. Really.

July 30
A Confluence of Suck

Ah, yes. Things are coming to a head when it comes to the stress in my life. I'm not sure where I picked up the word "confluence" but I kind of like it and it seems to fit with my life for this coming week. It's basically going to suck for me for a while. Beyond the whole Red Mess thing with my hormones out of whack, I'm dealing with the death of a friend from California.

Britt was a fun guy to game with. Vexing and frustrating as well but he balanced out the chaos factor of Dave. I liked Britt. He'd send me weird emails from time to time. They made me wonder if I was who he thought I was but I'd shrug and go with the flow. It hurt to hear he died. But, right now, I'm harboring a crapload of guilt.

When Dave called me and I heard the tears in his voice and knew that something was wrong and he said, "I've got some bad news, sweetie." I thought, 'Oh, God, It's Rob. Something's happened to Rob.' When he told me that Britt had died, my first, overwhelming feeling was one of relief. 'Thank God, it wasn't Rob.' Followed immediately by a wash of guilt. Followed by and immediate sense of distance and disconnection.

I didn't want Britt to die but damn, I'm so relieved that it wasn't any of my other, closer, more important to me friends. Because of this, I feel very askew... sad, angry and relieved.

All of this is merging with two other stress flows: Work and Gen Con. I've been working some very long hours at work. My paycheck will be very nice but this release schedule is brutal. While it is being stretched out, we keep having more and more stuff piled on top. R&D and new fangled technology is neat but hard to work in. I'm no longer worried about the job ending too soon. I'm more worried about it stretching too far into 2007.

With Gen Con, I'm just nervous. There are going to be a lot of people there. Some of them I'm meeting as friends. Some as co-workers. Some, many, I won't know at all. Some of them may (will?) have quite an impact on my writing career. So, I'm probably going to be twitchy between now and then (less than two weeks!). I'm really hoping the excitement for the convention drops over me soon. I could use a bit of that right about now.

***

Despite the confluence of suck going on right now, not all is bad. There are some good things going on. I had a great time at the Abney Park concert and hanging out with them afterwards. I'm really happy to be shooting again and I seem to found a decent shooting partner. It is very relaxing for me. Also, there are the clubs - the Mercury and the Vogue. I've been enjoying the music and company. I especially appreciate it when your roommate is willing to trade off driving.

Finally, the writing is coming along well. Very well. I've accepted the novella for Grants Pass and, with that, the submission phase for the anthology is now closed. The exception are those people who have told me they are working on their stories now (Rory, Kai, Rich and Monte) and those authors recommended by others who have a story ready. I'm on to the editing part of the anthology. I've pretty much decided on the order of the stories. I've got almost all of the author bios. Things are looking good.

In other writing, I'm submitted a story to a new horror anthology called "In Bad Dreams" - which is about modern day horror stories. My story, Twenty Questions, has gotten some good comments from my reader group and I'm pretty confident about to. The Edge of Propinquity is also doing well. I like the way things are coming together on all my projects.

Tarot Card for the Day: The Empress
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