Jennifer (gaaneden) wrote,
Jennifer
gaaneden

Updated...

Abstract Thoughts has been updated with ROAD TRIP! - which is mostly about my impending road trip but also about a realization I recently had.

June 19
ROAD TRIP!

For the record, I would just like to say that I adore "Google Maps." Whoever designed it and coded it was a genius! It has made getting ready for my road trip to CA so much easier. Especially since this time, I'm not doing a single "base of operations" for the week. I'm sofa surfing all over the place and I'm really excited about it.

Much of this trip is going to be defined by the people I see and the restaurants I go to. One thing I really miss about the Bay Area is the fabulous food. I approve of some restaurants up here but they don't really compare to the Bay Area for the most part. I'm not sure where I'm going to be eating while with Heather but Wednesday for lunch it will be Chef Liu's or Casa De Lupe. I may have to run to Fremont to grab Rich first but, darn it, we are going to one of those places for lunch. The rest of Wednesday and Thursday will be based on what Rich and company want to do. Friday lunch will be which ever restaurant I didn't go to on Wednesday. Friday night is Los Charros with Thea. Saturday is Sono Sushi with Monte. Sunday with Wendy and Jeff is still up in the air. Of course, visits to Dana Street will happen.

I dropped off Esme at Lori and David's house. I think she will like it. There's no construction and she has a big window to look out of. Though, we did have an extremely traumatic meeting between Josh and Esme. Esme did her "do not approach me, you swine" routine which, Josh, being an alpha cat, promptly ignored it. It turned into fight and Lori got Josh out of there. It looked like Esme was OK. Frankly, I think it was more traumatic for me, thinking I'm a bad cat mommy. Yeah. She'll be fine but I can't help worrying.

Still, I'm so looking forward to this road trip. There is something very cerebrally cleansing for me on these very long drives. The body is engaged just enough to set the mind free. I let all the mental crap drain from me on the way down and I build myself up on the way back up. It is an excellent way of cleaning out the mental cobwebs.

I will be calling people at every stop I make on the way down and on the way back up to let someone know where I am, how I'm doing, that I'm alive, etc.

***

I finally had the hot stone massage I have been promising myself for months. My gosh, was that ever good! It didn't hurt at all. It was just this deep penetrating heat that really relaxes you. I've decided that I need to figure out a way to afford one of these massages once a month. Something to help de-stress me and do that whole improving quality of life thing I keep promising myself. When I get back from my road trip, I have a facial schedule. Ideally, I'll start a "Relax Jenn" regime of a facial around the first of every month and a massage around the middle of every month. I can afford it monetarily. I just have to convince myself that and convince myself to take some "me" time for pampering.

***

Recently, I got together with some friends so they could teach me to play "I Never" and generally indulge in some drunken debauchery. The evening was a lot of fun. But, one of the conversations we had made me realize something: I'm not in love. I'm not in lust. I don't even really have a crush on someone. Not really. I haven't been in this state of non-romanticism in years. Even when I wasn't seeing someone, I was still usually pining for someone.

Oh, sure, there are a couple of guys I would not mind kicking their heels out from under and dragging them off to bed... But, all of them have issues of one sort or another: Taken; in a weird space emotionally; Transitory - definitely moving in a few months (Though, that might not stop me. If fact, it might spur me on because anything with that guy would be transitory.); in another State. You see what I mean.

Interestingly enough, while I would like to find a good relationship, I am content with my situation as it stands for now. There really are no potential prospects except for the one transitory one. I think, I've finally gotten comfortable with who I am and being with just me. It's been a goal of mine for ages and I seem to have reached it with little fanfare; just a dawning realization and a smile.

Now, this isn't to say that I wouldn't mind falling head over heels in love again. To blush at the mere mention of someone's name or to have butterflies in my tummy when that special someone walks in. To be assaulted by someone's pheromones into wanting to follow evolution's plan (private joke with Yony) and to wake up next to someone in time for a morning cuddle. Yeah, that would be nice.

Tarot Card for the Day: Nine of Swords
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