Jennifer (gaaneden) wrote,


Abstract Thoughts has been updated with Disassociated - which is a bit on how I feel right now and a year in review.

December 31

Christmas has passed and my vacation has passed even faster. But, it has been a good vacation despite suffering from some big holiday blues. I have slept so much that I think I have finally recharged my batteries to full. I'm ready for a more normal routine to start. Preferably, a writing one rather than an 8 to 5 one but we can't have what we want.

I spent Christmas day in Middle Earth. I went over to Rory's house and we watched the entire Lord of the Rings series, extended edition. All 11 hours of it. I had a blast. Then, I spent the next couple of days watching all of the Lord of the Rings extras while I wrote. That was a really nice break from reality.

Of course, when I came up for air, I had discovered that a natural disaster of biblical proportions in the form of earthquakes and a tsunami had hit Sri Lanka. The numbers are so big that I find myself unable to comprehend them. A death toll of more than 120,000 people. "Millions" of people without homes, food or water. The huge threat of disease from the dead and the rotting.

These are just words and 'facts' to me and it disturbs me that I am so disassociated from it all. Then again, that is not the only thing I am disassociated from. My mom is in the hospital with pneumonia. I am worried but I find, since there is little I can do about it, I do not find myself thinking of it too much. My sister sends me daily emails on mom's progress and I've called and talked to her a couple of times. She is in good spirits. She assures me she isn't going to die and that I shouldn't worry nor hop a plane to visit. Though, she appreciates it. So, I'm left with looking at it through factual, instead of emotional, eyes.

I am having a hard time empathizing in general. I think, I have shut myself off from my emotions for now because I just don't want to deal with them. This recent stuff nor the other historical stuff I know is hovering in the back of my mind, just waiting for it to present itself for examination. What a can of worms that is going to be. *heh* No wonder I'm just not dealing with it right now.

[Later addition: Mom is now out of the hospital!]


The year in review. Let's see: Weight, still the same; Job, still got it and lots happier; Home, still standing; Status, still single; Writing, doing contract work now; Cat, still alive and bitchy. All in all, I guess a lot has not changed too much over the past year.

January - Met up with Robert Hill again. Made a website for Jenn from Casey & Andy webcomic. Came to some sort of thought about being single again and accepting it for now. Joined the 20/20 program. Dumped my old mortgage agent in favor of part of the fabulous duo. Started up with my regular gaming group, Sunset gaming.

February - Seemed to be a whole lot of coming to grips with 20/20. DundraCon which is now a staple in my life to make sure I get to see my friends from California. I had my mid-year review which went really well at the time but came back to bite me in the ass later.

March - I had a biological scare of a lump where there shouldn't have been one but it turned out to be nothing. Random crap with my old boss about him not being there. Had my credit card stolen. Finished refinancing my home. Took a C# class.

April - Mom came to visit and it was a good trip. I started planning out how to take a year off to write. I re-entered the dating scene with some trepidation. Met Rory and Shane and started LARPing in Crimson Dawn.

May - Took an Engineering Excellence class for work. Jumped into a reading and writing binge. Joined Heirs to the Fall LARP. The concept of "Grants Pass" as a post-apocalyptic meeting place was introduced.

June - Had a visit from Heather and Chris. The concept of "Grants Pass" as an anthology was born. Got my cat shaved. Started stressing about formal reviews. Had a visit from Kai and Steph. Pondered moving to the Xbox group.

July - Had an excellent fourth of July at Pavel's place. Had a visit from Yony. Celebrated being in Seattle for one year. My sis-in-law had a premie baby. Patrick became my interim boss while the clueless boss was out.

August - Got my first contract with Sovereign Press, working on a Dragonlance source book! I had the worst review of my professional career - with no warning at all. Had another medical scare that turned out to be "We don't know but we think you are OK." Finished the 20/20 program with disappointing results. Patrick becomes my official boss.

September - I have a vacation in CA. It's really nice. Friends and a convention. Later, I pop back to CA to visit with family. Totally enjoying Patrick as my new boss.

October - Finish my contract with Sovereign Press. Had weight loss surgery: lapband. The old boss is invited to leave the group. I started fostering kittens again. I pushed out the Grants Pass story submission date. I discover that I'm going to have an extremely large assessment put on my condo that pretty much is going to knock out my ability to take any time off to write.

November - My writing cup runneth over. Joined the Seattle NERO plot team, primarily as a writer. I compare all of the major holidays with the seven deadly sins. I get my first fill in my lapband.

December - I get flowers for my birthday! Yay! Leigh-Ann and I decide we want to go on a Mediterranian cruise and sign up for one! There are plans for some domestic castle crawling. I have a vacation where I mostly sleep. I resolve not to make any new year's resolutions.

Tarot Card for the Day: Page of Cups

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