Jennifer (gaaneden) wrote,

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Abstract Thoughts has been updated with Wise Woman on the Mountain - which is a bit about life in general lately.

June 17
Wise Woman on the Mountain

It's been a while since I sat down and took stock of what's going on recently. I'm back to feeling like I'm in a weird place in my life. I'm restless and have been for a couple of days. The kind of restless that makes me want to walk and walk and walk until I find whatever is looking for me. It's also the kind of restless that makes me want to quit my job, sell my home, give away my cat and become a sofa surfing café vagabond. I really don't know why I get into these moods. Especially so soon after settling into Seattle. I haven't even been here a whole year, yet.

Close enough, though, for work to start making noises about review time. I've seen the stress level of most of my co-workers suddenly spike. As I have been told time and again, review time is the all time worse part of working at Microsoft. The review numbers mean everything. In a company full of overachievers, I'm surprised there aren't more heart attacks around this time of year. Me? I have hit a Zen state of mind over the whole review process. I care about my score but not enough to freak out about it. I have worked long and hard over the last year and if that is not good enough for "them" then nothing I do in the next three weeks is going to change that.

We'll see how I feel 1, 2 and 3 weeks from now.

On the non-work side of things, writing is coming along nicely. I have finished my story for the Grants Pass anthology and now, I'm looking for someone to review it. Just over 2000 words, I think it will be a nice end to the book, tying it all together. Another thought I had is to solicit stories from my favorite famous authors who have a web presence. I know most of them will say "No." despite the fact that I am willing to pay them out of my own pocket. But, if one or more says "Yes." that will be too keen for words. Plus, it may get more of the Write_Away community interested in the project. I know some people are really enthused about it but I'm not sure on others.

The gaming scene is blooming into something really interesting. My D&D game is off the ground and running. The Crimson Dawn LARP is turning out to be a whole lot of Victorian pulp action fun. I am especially liking the interaction between my character and her partner in crime. It's like discovering a couple of new friends. The Heirs to the Fall LARP has allowed the reinvention of an old darling of mine and this time around... she is a heck of a lot less nice about things. Always good to find new facets to old favorite characters. Plus, the game, while a lot of fun, is a wee bit out there in power level and shenanigans. I'm pretty impressed by it all.

On top of that, I have a new little addiction. It is called Kingdom of Loathing and is a stick figure, text based, kill 'em and take their stuff RPG. It's just too much fun for words. I mean, really. Any game that has meat as a currency has got to be good. Fortunately for me, it has a limited number of turns you can play in a single day. So, it doesn't take up all of my time.

In other news, I've been having a series of accidental and unintentional "Wise Woman on the Mountain" moments lately. I'm not sure how it keeps happening but it does. I ask the right question to allow someone to remember something important to them on an emotional level. Or, I comment on something I've noticed which sparks a much needed venting. Or, sometimes, I give someone a hug who needs it more than I realized. This has been happening a lot in the last week or two.

There are days when I think the universe is speaking through me. I am a convenient channel for its message and I get the benefit of looking wise, kind and observant. It amuses me from time to time when it happens. There I will be, just bopping along in a conversation and something I had no forethought of will pop out of my mouth. Before I can think "where did that come from?" my conversation companion has gone off on the much needed tangent.

I have to admit, I miss having such a role in my group of friends. In Palo Alto, I fit that niche very well. It made me feel special. Here, I am not close enough to any of the groups I'm hanging out with, yet, to fill any sort of role other than "the new chick." I'm not sure where I will end up when my shiny newness wears off. I suppose, I really shouldn't worry about it. What will be, will be. In the meantime, I guess, I'm just going to continue being me because that's all I know how to be.

Tarot Card for the Day: Page of Wands

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