Jennifer (gaaneden) wrote,

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Sir parzanese: "Lady gaaneden please enthrall us with your tale of how whilst arguing with a Sweedish fishmonger you did indeed discover that pigs could fly. :)"

"Oh, that old tale. There really isn't that much to it, good Sir. You see, whilst I was out and about on a grand adventure, seeking the lost treasure of King Nani-boo-bo - which is, of course, a tale unto itself, I chanced upon a small Gaulish village. It being lunch time, I was in the mood for a bite to eat. I came across a most marvelous market and stopped to by fish.

"I asked for the Sweedish fishmonger for some salmon. He claimed that he had the best salmon in all of land. Well. I couldn't pass that up. Only, when he went to wrap up my request, he grabbed a large tuna. I, of course, corrected him. Tuna is nice but I had quite the taste for salmon that day and I would not be denied. He insisted that the fish was a salmon. I insisted it was tuna. Soon, we were in quite the loud row.

"Just as I was about to pick up that tuna, for it was a tuna, as smack the offending fishmonger with it when, suddenly, a pig went flying by. I was so startled that I forgot the argument with the offensive man to stare at the flying pig. Shortly there after came a flying sow and her many piglets. I stood there agape when the fishmonger, who had continued the argument without me noticed my gaze.

"'Oh, them. Never seen a flying pig before, eh? They're all over the place up here. Nasty buggers but mighty fine eating if you can catch one.'

"'How?' I asked.

"'You barbeque them with a nice chutney glaze, of course. Everyone knows that.'

"'No. How do the pigs fly?'

"He shrugged. 'I don't know. I'm not a scientist. Lots of legends about it. Some say a magic potion. Some say a spell. Me? I think they decided that they didn't want to live in the mud anymore and decided that the air would be better. Stranger things have been known to happen, you know.'

"That was a challenge I could not pass up. 'Like what?' I asked.

"The fishmonger spent the afternoon telling me some amazingly strange tales while I watched the pigs fly by. It was lucky for me that that fishmonger didn't know the difference between salmon and tuna. We would never have gotten into that argument and would never have discovered that some pigs do, in fact, fly.

"However, that is but a poor excuse for a tale. hansandersen, would you indulge us with the story of how you single handedly fought off an entire squad of zombie Nazis with nothing more than a flashlight and some rope while you traveled through darkest Africa?"

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