thoughtfulDecember 21, 2003
Earthly Comedy of Errors
There are days when I believe that my life it being written as an earthly comedy of errors. I say earthly because I certainly do not want to be in a divine comedy of errors. This afternoon was no exception. I ran out to get gas for my car and debated about fast food for lunch. I decided on having the fast food because I really wanted a diet soda and I had none at home. KFC suits. Not too greasy and has the soda that I really want. I get home and the following things happen:
I'm much calmer now. I've cooked something and I've had my soda. But, man, it's like the world is trying to keep me from drinking the stuff now that I know just how bad it is for me.
It is official. I am in the 20/20 program. Fortunately, it is going to cost me a lot less than I thought it would. MS really does pay 80% of it. That's a bit of a load off my mind. It's still expensive but manageable. The appointments start the week I get back. This is what is set up for me for 20/20 program:
There will be a radical diet change that seems to be based on lo carb, high lean protein. What little I know about it involves removing all carbs and reintroducing them to my diet to figure out how my body reacts to each kind of carb. I know there's a lot more to it. I just don't have that information right now. But, I'm sure I will be writing about it a lot more soon.
Another thing that will happen is my personal trainer asking me a whole lot more about my personal life. Fortunately, I did get Kolu as my personal trainer. He's very laid back, firm and easy going. I'm comfy with him. I already know he's married, so that puts him in the "asexual" category for me. Which also helps the self conscious body image thing. He will be setting my training, assigning the video tapes that cover topics like "how to eat out" and "peer pressure." If I travel, he'll be calling me every day to make sure I work out while I'm out of town and emailing me about my diet.
Yes, they are really serious about this program. It is under evaluation from the government because of the high success rate and the exceeding high weight loss retention rate. After the 20 week program, I am required to go on the 12 maintenance program by MS policies. As far as I know, that does involve the personal trainer and the dietician.
Interesting dreaming... The Time Beyond - This is an odd dream of me being a future world where I save a child, then have to endure a rite of passage to join the tribe. I succeed but it is not an easy triumph over an old foe.
Very soon I will be seeing friends I haven't seen in a while. Some, I know really well and have a whole lot of emotion invested in them. Some are more casual acquaintances but people I still care about. However, for all of them, I'm a little nervous to see again. It's been over six months now. Some of my friends, I've seen in that time but most I haven't. I'm nervous because I'm worried their care for me will have cooled. Or, mine for them... and I won't know how to deal with it. It may not be that. It may be something as simple as not knowing the latest "in" jokes, proving that I'm now "out" and an outsider.
I'm sure everything is going to be fine and I'm going to have a great vacation. But, I can't help but be nervous now.
Tarot Card for the Day: The Tower, Inverted
