Jennifer (gaaneden) wrote,

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What is self?

I had a really good time at phoebek's fondue focus group last night. It was interesting meeting two strangers to have an intellectual conversation with over the concept of "actual self" and "true self." Also, one of the participants, snakefeathers (hiya!), came up with a really interesting thought that individual molecules might have a type of individual sentience. While I don't necessarily agree with that idea (yet), I can see where the thought could and would come from.

I'm still struggling over the idea that my personality is more than just a series of reactions based on the outside stimulus of other people and things. We are more than the sum our parts. We are more than just chemical reactions. I am thinking that that unquantifiable "something" that I am striving to express is the idea of the soul and how it affects who we are.

I believe I have a core self. An inner person who I always am - no matter the circumstance. Then, on top of that core self, I have masks and filters that fit for the appropriate event. I have a 'work' filter, a 'gaming' filter, an 'alone with my lover' filter and many others... but, through it all, there is the core of ME. I am. I exist. I would exist without interactions with others. This person that is ME, that I may not show to everyone, makes up my basic personality.

Of course, Phoebe then asked, "What is personality?" I am still struggling to define what I mean by personality and how it relates to who I am.

Much intellectual thought in the last day. It feels good to stretch my brain in this manner.

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