Add in history story to A/M's first real conversation. Explain the intense biohazard to empire and why she/Earth will be dealt with if cure is refused.
Add a discussion of garlic in one of I/M's conversations
Make the invisible Captain of the ship visible after explosion. Confusion of Araquez's role as Mission Commander. He's not the Captain of the ship. The captain and the guard commander both report to him.
Add an arguement between Captain/Araquez over what to do with M after explosion to reveal that Araquez is:
1. The Earth Expert
2. Not used to commanding such a big ship
3. Taught at the Academy
Also to reveal:
1. This is a one of a kind ship
2. Captain is chaffing at reporting to Araquez
Add stuff to Maureen because she knows she's being manipulated. Reader can't tell that.
Of course, this conversation has also made me want to write some sort of storytelling history book for the Kember Empire and/or to turn the whole bloody thing into a rich game world for people to RP in.
Not to mention the fact that Yony has now given me a basic idea of what to write about for the second and third books:
Book 2: In the Imperial court, based around one of the main bad guys waiting for the mission from the first book to be completed and what nefarious plans he is cooking up in the meantime.
Book 3: Maureen/Araquez reach the Kember Empire, are summoned to the Imperial court just in time for the nefarious plans of book 2 to kick in, causing M/A to be in direct conflict with BG and his plot to [do something evil to the Empress].