July 23rd, 2003


Slowing down

Last night was kind of hard for me. It was the first time since I left that I had time to sit down and miss people. I do. Terribly. I was on the phone to my best guy… I don't know if I can call him that anymore… Damn. I just thought of that. I don't know what to call him. Maybe, my best friend. I was on the phone to my best friend last night when it hit me - I can't just drive over to see him anymore. I can't look forward to going out to dinner with him or getting a much needed cuddle. That led to a whole lot of other loss stuff. By the time we got off the phone, I could barely speak and I couldn't see.

Having Hans, David and Lori here does make it easier… and harder. Easier because of our friendship and instant support of one another. Harder because of the constant reminders. I know the pain of the parting will grow distant eventually. But, in the meantime, it really wounds the soul.

With that, I'm going to go before I start writing mopey poetry.
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