April 16th, 2002


Just illin'...

I have a tummy ache and my right eye is freaking out, being blood red. I think it's allergies. At least, the eye. I don't know what's up with my tummy. I'm nauseated and I have no explanation for it.

Along with that, I'm feeling guilty for my hypocritical nature. For someone who spends so much of her time trying to improve herself, her weight and her looks... I sure am catty and critical of others. Not all the time. Just some of the time. Like at the Heather Alexander concert. My internal monologue was incredibly mean and shallow as I watched the crowd of furries, filkers and fairies.

I don't know what it is about those groups but something about them, sometimes (even though I'm a part of each in one fashion or another) makes me wince and want to shout "Freak! Take a bath! Get your hair cut! Stop being such a slob! You're the reason our groups have such a bad name with the mundanes! You're making ME look bad!"

God. How's that for brutal honesty?

It's not all furries, filkers and fairies. Just some. But, just like the empty can rattling and the wheel squeaking, they are the most noticeable. It's not fair the rest of us, I think, sometimes. Why should I have to carry the notorious reputation of a group because of a freakier few?

I have no idea where this train of thought is going, but I don't like where it is now. I hate being mean.
  • Current Music
    Insh'allah by Heather Alexander