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For the record, I am completely aware that it is actually very hard to get ebola. It involves an exchange of body fluids. Here’s a video about it.

That said, this first case of ebola diagnosed in Texas is freaking me out. The fact that the person went into the hospital, told them that they had been in a danger zone for ebola, and was still sent home. It is the beginning of a plague story. The spider web of people interacted with who now need to be observed for 21 days. At least the CDC in the US is pretty darned good at what they do.

Apocalypse Girl is railing that this is the beginning of the end. That this is when we all finally fuck up and the world as we know it dies. I’ve started checking and re-checking my supplies. I pinged the Husband and told him the ebola situation was making me anxious. When he asked what he could do, I said, “We need more water.” He took me on a Costco run that night.

A Context member asked me how my husband helps me control and mitigate my crazy. This is one way. He indulges it a little. It won’t hurt him or me to go get more water for our apocalyptic stores. It made me feel better. Welcome to the downside of Apocalypse Girl.

It sucks to be anxious like this. Most of the time, I am happily pondering eschatology (which I spelled without having to look up) and thinking about what I would do in The End. But that doesn’t mean I want The End to come. It means I like to think about it, to read about it, to write fiction about it because that’s one of the only ways I know how to control it.

Apocalyptic fiction is wonderful because, usually, the good guy wins. I know that’s not how the real world works. I don’t want to see an apocalypse in the real world. I really don’t.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 2nd, 2014 09:38 pm (UTC)
In a developed country, Ebola is harmless except to medical personnel, but luckily in a developed country, medical personnel have easy access to necessary supplies to protect themselves.

You should fear the flu, not ebola. The flu kills around 36,000 people in the United States each year. And we all shrug our shoulders and don't even care.

Now, if you want a good mutant virus (say you're a sociopath, or a writer, and you want to destroy the world), my personal favorite is rabies and one of the common cold viruses (personally, I'd go with orthomyxovirus because it is closer in structure to rabies than some other cold viruses). Ebola isn't an efficient end-of-the-world virus because you're not contagious until you're symptomatic. It's easy to figure out to avoid the guy puking up blood, and the contagion dies out before taking out many people. (FYI, this is why smallpox is so terrifying. If you have it, you're walking around shedding a cloud of viruses before you have any idea you've got it. It spreads incredibly easy! But many people survive it, so while it's absolutely horrible and kills many and is disfiguring, there are better options if you want to destroy the world.) Now, rabies isn't airborne, so that's why you mix it with orthomyxovirus (of course, this makes it sound like it's easy to do, but say you find a way to combine the proteins you want). Rabies, like smallpox, is contagious before you have symptoms. And it is 100% lethal. So airborne rabies that is contagious before you are symptomatic? Freaking terrifying! And perfect for destroying the world.

But for the world we actually have, fear the flu. It is deadly and we all have a pretty good chance of catching it.
Oct. 2nd, 2014 10:07 pm (UTC)
I think part of it is that the flu is curable. Ebola kills up to 90% of everyone who catches it. Also, you can get a flu shot. There are ways to mitigate it. I think that's the flip point in my brain.

As for the rest, logic and my emotions don't see eye-to-eye and there's not much I can do about that.
Oct. 2nd, 2014 11:29 pm (UTC)
It's not just you. And I'm sure the supplies will be useful. Just probably not for Ebola. Hopefully.
Oct. 3rd, 2014 02:18 am (UTC)
Supplies are always good.
Oct. 3rd, 2014 01:06 am (UTC)

I understand fear and anxiety well. I don't happen to share yours about things apocalyptic, but I do understand fear and anxiety. And because of that, I sympathize.
Oct. 3rd, 2014 02:19 am (UTC)
It's probably the way I grew up - military brat during the cold war, living in Europe. The anxiety isn't fun but I will survive.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )