Last night, I dreamt that I still owned my condo and I had loaned it out to my friend Matt. We went over to look at the condo after he moved out and found Esme there. Esme had lived there ever since I moved in with Jeff. She looked okay but like she needed some love and a bath.
Jeff and I looked through the condo and he looked sad. I asked him what was wrong. When he didn’t answer, I said, “You think we should take Esme home with us.” He nodded. I agreed. “That settles it. We take her home and deal with it.”
More stuff happened but I was most disturbed by the thought that I would leave my beloved cat alone to live in my old condo. In the dream, we did it because we thought she’d be happier and discovered we were wrong.
Esme’s been dead for just over a year and I’ve been missing her a lot lately. But that’s not all that’s bothering me. There are the creeping worries about money. There’s always the fear that I’m not good enough when it comes to writing and editing. Dealing with pain issues hasn’t helped any either.
I guess I just have a lot to chew over in my subconscious right now.