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Asshole Versus Awesome

Every time I work a booth at a convention, I run into people who either think they are clever but really are assholes or are just assholes and don't care that they are. Fortunately, the assholes are balanced out by the awesomeness of some people. Me? I vastly prefer the awesome. Thus, now I give examples for ya'll to think about.

  • If you spend five minutes telling me how bad the layout to the cover of one of my books is, you might think you are clever. You aren't. You're an asshole.

  • If you spend five minutes critiquing the artwork of one of my book covers and then ask, "Oh, are you the artist?" you might think you are erudite. You're not. You're an asshole.

  • If you stop in front of my table to talk with your friends, blocking the table and preventing customers to get to my books, you are an asshole.

  • If you come up to the table and tell me to pitch you one of my books in 30 seconds or less and then add, "You're on the clock, 25 seconds," you are an asshole. Then if you bring your girlfriend over to gush about the books because you are such 'good friends' with some of the authors in the book but don't buy the book, you are a complete asshole and a waste of space.

  • If you walk up to the table and compliment the covers of the books and ask for the elevator pitch for them, you are awesome. If you then buy a book, you are wonderful.

  • If you come up to chat with me and stand to the side of the table, understanding that our conversation will be fragmented because I'm working, you are awesome.

  • If you are an author who really wants to hear why I rejected your story and accept the hard words of reality, you are awesome.

  • If you are an aspiring author that I see again and again at conventions who comes to tell me, "Every time I get scared, I just asked myself 'What would Jenn do?' and then do it," you are awesome.

    Sometimes, after a convention, you just need to get some things off your chest.
  • Comments

    ( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
    Aug. 11th, 2011 06:48 pm (UTC)
    Sounds like you might need one of these:

    {{{{hugs}}}} :)
    (Deleted comment)
    Aug. 11th, 2011 07:21 pm (UTC)
    I will admit, I almost told #4 to fuck off because I didn't need the sale that bad. However, I believe in keeping my 'suit on' in public.
    Aug. 11th, 2011 10:35 pm (UTC)
    Yet another reason I'm glad I bought the books...
    Aug. 11th, 2011 11:37 pm (UTC)
    You should have a buzzer you can push once for awesome and twice for asshole, and then things could fall from the ceiling... Happy, sparkly confetti for the awesome people or something less pleasant for the assholes...
    Aug. 12th, 2011 05:37 pm (UTC)
    Most awesome!
    Sorry I missed you this time around!
    I passed the booth at the wrong time and was barely in the trade hall this year.
    Hope it all went well.
    Aug. 12th, 2011 06:21 pm (UTC)
    I'm sorry I missed you. I looked for you at the Cubicle 7 booth.
    Aug. 12th, 2011 08:50 pm (UTC)
    I was sadly rarely at the booth this year, made it very tricky to meet people!
    I suggested we run more quick demos at the booth next year along with the big demos so I'll be findable!
    ( 7 comments — Leave a comment )