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What Would Elminster Say?

Last night, our D&D group got dumped from the Dark Sun universe to the Forgotten Realms universe. We all knew it was coming out of character. Jeff (the GM) and I talked about who would meet us. The question, if it was Elminster, what would he say?

I wrote Ed Greenwood and asked.

Thus Elminster said, while we were all on the ground and somewhat dazed...

"Ah! Worldwalkers tired of frying pans and seeking fires, I see! Well met, and welcome to the Forgotten Realms!

"As adventurers always seem to get themselves into verily TERRIBLE trouble if I leave them to what the saying is pleased to call 'their own devices,' prudence - - and thy preference to retain thy lives, heads, and various other important appendages - - demands I steer thee. As in, head ye into an adventure or task that will have ye marauding over selected parts of the Faerunian landscape, not ALL of it, at random.

"Harken, then, for thy might and daring is needed in the back rooms of coin-crazy Athkatla, where doppelgangers have begun to replace and impersonate the wealthier, greedier, and less scrupulous of that city's grasping merchant princes . . . and 'tis also needed in the wilderlands nigh Secomber, where one of the stupider of those Zhent dolts has decided to hide a deepspawn in a cavern somewhere hard by the High forest, and it's begun spewing out a steady stream of lesser monsters that will overrun the countryside if no one slaughters it soon! Beware the ghost-mage, mind! Has a habit of turning thy own spells back on thee!

"Have fun - - mind ye, adventurers always do - - and neglect not what I've told thee, for 'tis the doom of men ( and a few women, too, from time to time) that they forget. Which reminds me, I nigh forgot what I myself must be about, this even! Dancing with a dragon; all those sharp claws; 'tis like being married, I tell thee! Well, fair forays 'til next we meet, gentles!"

Then he disappeared.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
melchar
Feb. 17th, 2012 09:52 pm (UTC)
That was awesome! And, as often I've thought, it sounded like the big 'E' was indulging a bit before chatting up the adventurers. Good hunting in that portion of the multiverse that the gods themselves forgot about.
gaaneden
Feb. 19th, 2012 08:26 am (UTC)
Thank you!
roseembolism
Feb. 18th, 2012 09:49 pm (UTC)
A perfect example of the massive annoyance that is Elminster. Somebody really needs to do a Granny Weatherwax on him.
gaaneden
Feb. 19th, 2012 08:27 am (UTC)
I wouldn't do that. :)
evildmguy
Feb. 19th, 2012 12:37 am (UTC)
That was awesome! Very cool!

How was the rest of the adventure?
gaaneden
Feb. 19th, 2012 08:28 am (UTC)
Up until that point? Good but hard. Now... now the Gods of the Forgotten Realms get to introduce themselves to a party where most of them have never had gods to worship.
evildmguy
Feb. 19th, 2012 02:24 pm (UTC)
That's awesome! And cool! Can't wait to hear how that turns out!
digitaleopard
Feb. 21st, 2012 08:49 pm (UTC)
Typical long-winded Wizard, using fifty words when five will do. Sounds like fun, though.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )